In the chilling winters of December, while meeting several people for my marriage (which was, of course, not planned by me), I met a person with whom, after spending almost 10 days, an idea popped up. That’s how the term ‘blank romance’ was coined. You might be wondering about its origin and the meaning it carries. Isn’t it interesting?
We’ve all heard about the word ‘romance,’ which has an innate meaning and essence subjective to each person. Sometimes used as a noun, often as a verb, and occasionally as an adjective, its significance varies. In my case, my whole aura revolves around it and speaks about my persona. I would describe romance as a feeling of love, care, and empathy toward a person, thing, a muse, and life, respectively.
In the literary world, we have the term ‘Romantic Age,’ starting from the onset of ‘Lyrical Ballads’ (1798) and extending to the Victorian era (1837). Let’s not make it too technical to comprehend. The Romantic Age deals with romanticizing nature, amplifying imagination, and the fancy a writer bestows upon their writing.
Although the Romantic Age was revolutionary in its approach, writers have always paved the way for their own form of romance. It’s important to note that a writer always has an inspirational muse in mind for romantic writing to be possible. Generally, romance is something we’ve seen in daily soaps, movies, web series, in our daily lives, and within our families. It’s like sprinkling love on our loved ones, partners, or beloved.
Yes, it was the same for me until I met this man from India, almost a year after our initial meeting. It happened at exactly the same time, and we ended up having a therapeutic conversation about research for almost four hours. Can you believe it? I couldn’t, especially considering that the person I was meeting for marriage purposes is now offering me guidance towards a PhD. How cool is that! Throughout our conversation, I was observing this uniquely different personality, and it lasted until 11 o’clock at night – yeah, I managed that.
A disclaimer here: as I mentioned, I’m someone full of romance, meeting this person who is quite the opposite and poles apart. On one hand, I’m an extrovert who needs to express all emotions, otherwise, it hurts my belly. On the other hand, there’s this Mr. Crooked, who dresses (or undresses) in a manner that’s equal and interacts as if we’re in an interview.
For almost 5 hours, I didn’t realize that our conversation had shifted towards my career. There was so much to learn, obviously. However, after that, it became a bizarre situation. I couldn’t understand what was keeping me seated on that couch. Weird, I know. Time passed, and surprisingly, I found myself enjoying it. Duhhhh.
After delving into the technical aspects of life and career, I felt it was time to understand if this person is technical in everything or if I would be the exception. So, I decided to play with him, and by ‘play,’ I didn’t mean football, but rather to showcase some charms to catch his attention, particularly through his eyes. Guess what? After exerting so much emotion and effort, trying to be more girly, even doing every possible hair flip, he remained unaffected. My bad.
You might be wondering if he has almost no noticeable expression, then what is there to talk about. But let’s hold on for a moment. I’m still there, seated. Well, I didn’t get romance, but a ‘blank romance,’ of course. So, let me explain this term, ‘blank romance.’
Blank romance is that aspect of romance when it becomes more technical in its expression. It’s a state, an emotion not clearly visible through voice, bodily movements, or any expressive action. Instead, it’s hidden in small gestures. For instance, providing water (oh, sorry, I didn’t offer it earlier), giving you space (while not giving it before), or complimenting you in an understated manner. This trait is found in almost 50% of boys. However, it’s more evident in men who have studied extensively and work in research. Now that it’s clearer, let me take you a little further
Those 10 days were quite critical for me. It was difficult to analyze this type of behavior, which felt both familiar and unfamiliar simultaneously. We continued our meetings, and to no surprise, there wasn’t a single moment where I saw this man changing his characteristics at all. He remained the same throughout, monotonous. Well, it’s a good formula, though sometimes changes are necessary to survive, but here, they’re invisible, much like a spot washed away by the tide in an advertisement.
Another thing, he presented me with lots of varieties of chocolates. Well, they are my favourite. Yet again, with the same expression. And mark my words, my ‘play’ was still on, and so was his ‘game.’ Like this incident, many such moments occurred, but those moments also broke their momentum and made it more tedious.
One incident stands out: on a dark evening, we decided to visit an aesthetic place, as usual. He was walking ahead of me, but that’s beside the point. We arrived to have a fine dinner. In that seductive hour, I resumed my ‘play’ by staring at him flirtatiously and, looking directly into his eyes, I extended my hand towards him, expecting him to reciprocate. Instead, he exclaimed, ‘What do you want?’ (I know, it’s a red flag). I didn’t move, I was determined. When I didn’t reply, he handed the menu card to me. (Two minutes of silence.)
To conclude, after observing the entire scenario of blank romance, I believe I’ve explained enough. I hope it’s relatable to you. So, can we say that blank romance is the expression of concealed feelings, which a man unknowingly shows, incapable of displaying the usual romance?
