From Matrimonial Apps to Emotional Gaps

It is a disastrous moment when someone’s parents ask for consent to find a groom. It might sound
slightly absurd, but for some, it is a depressing phase where they feel they are being tested on being human and a perfect human. If someone today tells me that it’s a bittersweet experience, then I would definitely disagree. The whole concept of finding someone suitable and trusting them for their entire life is a ‘live mirage’ that would let someone interrogate about their existence. The day I hit 28, a wave of discomfort swept on. Everybody was looking at my mature skin and putting an emphasis on the usual cause that everyone else is put into, A Marriage.

Am I not good enough?  This question pricks my heart when I agreed to my generous parents for
marriage. We have seen various applications available on our devices. Some for dating, some for
travelling, some for music and recreation so on and so forth and then the technology intervenes and voila! we have applications where in just one swipe the groom is matched. So, the journey begins where one swipe, two swipes, three swipes and now the number 25 continues.

It all starts with “Hey, what’s up, how are you?” and ends with “You’re a good girl but I’m not getting that vibe with you!”

                  “Swipe Right for

Disappointment”

Amidst all these scrambling emotions while encountering varied personalities it became a torturous event for me day by day. It resulted in a moment where I would question myself about being a capable woman or if I was demanding too much from someone. Or perhaps I’m living in a fictional town where I am the heroine, a simple girl asking for some affection but the hero is an extraordinary prodigy. Sometimes, it led to teary eyes and wet pillows that I changed every day almost! When I was oscillating between men of different demeanours, some people used to have a conversation leisurely with me not on the topic of marriage or life but of dating and mostly about sex. Where one question became most prevalent “How many times would you like to get intimate with me after marriage?” It was a kind of shock when I heard it for the first time but later the trajectory of affirmation displayed to me that “scientifically proven immaturity of men”.

I am an ‘erotica writer’ by passion. It sounds a little strange for some and unknown to many. Being a sapiosexual, I get attracted to the intellect of the person rather than the outer appearance so whenever a little comfort was provided, the second thing I would tell the selected groom is about my career and my “not so clichéd” writing domain. As usual, it becomes a moment of wonder where is it coming from. However, the usual capacity of the person could only think of just having sex with me and nothing beyond that. Well, there is more in me that could get more attention rather.

I do understand it’s the first thought that would come across someone’s mind but let’s just expect a little maturity in this progressive time and think beyond the sexuality of a woman and as a person in real. In those dating apps or marriage apps where my profile was registered, I saw the backlash of multiple emotions. They indicated that they wanted to know me better and hence wanted a certain amount of time. Well in my opinion knowing someone would take a whole life rather than 3-4 months. Ideally, getting acquainted with someone and understanding them well enough to be a part of their life are two different aspects. According to them, if everything goes well, then the obvious program is to segue into another step.
Can we call it dating instead of seeing someone, guys!

          “Now even arranged marriages

are arranged”

Many of you after reading this article might judge me for expressing the dark reality an ambitious
woman goes through. My idea of writing this is not to demean the men of our society but to pang on the immature and playful attitude of boys. However, there is a lack of clarity or a ‘tendency to take things for granted’ behaviour which is nothing but simply the byproduct of the patriarchal society.

There is no importance to those who genuinely look for someone to complete them. This society is
full of minds who think alike in a certain pattern of passivity where the other person who is more
invested in a relationship gets hurt and later mentally unstable. Consider a situation when one
person is completely involved with the other and the other one is just not serious and merely
enjoying the supremacy of oblivion. Isn’t it too harsh for someone whose life revolves around their
beloved and also thinking of getting married to them?

It was my personal experience. You’ll have yours too. So, if you were caught in the same situation, what would your next step be? Would you match others’ pace or walk independently, as if you don’t understand what’s going on?”