🧠💬 The Unsaid Buddy
Friendship—a word that holds deep significance in almost everyone’s life. In every relationship, it is friendship that keeps it running for the long haul. Like many of you, I also stand in that queue where friends are everything to me. They stand behind me in every situation, silently supporting me.
Like many of you, I also stand in that queue where friends are everything to me. They stand behind me in every situation, silently supporting me.
It gives me immense joy to say that whatever I am today, and wherever I stand in life, it's because of my friends those who believed in my strengths and accepted my flaws.
It wouldn’t be wrong to say that if, by some mishap, my parents were to kick me out of their house, I’d still be alright because I know I could find shelter in any one of my friends' homes, without worrying about money or even a Honey (beloved).
It all begins in our juvenile years, when someone comes along, offers a hand, and unknowingly creates a bond that gives us comfort in an unfamiliar world. Back then, the commitments were small playing together, sharing lunch, helping each other with homework meant the world. As we grow up, the bond stays but our perspectives and responsibilities change. Friendships begin to carry more emotional weight, more complexity. Understanding becomes crucial part of the daily life, dealing with numerous personalities. In that hustling world, conversations don’t always need words—just two cups of chai, a mountain hike, or a long drive, appreciating the weather, sharing silences. It’s just… beautiful.
But then comes a moment when we feel the twin ache of longing and loneliness. These two L’s hit hardest when we’re away from family and childhood friends. You suddenly realise your playmate is now playing with their career goals, and you hesitate to disturb them as you want to see them succeeding.
That’s when your fluctuating emotions give you a harsh but real-life check — you’ve grown up, my dear.
Someone rightly said — you’re born surrounded by many, but you walk alone. I’ve felt that too. And perhaps that’s why writing comes to my rescue. In my early days, my life was filled with people, different mindsets, and an ocean of emotions. I was easy-going and outspoken, always eager to learn. But as I grew older, that crowd slowly reduced, leaving behind only the ones who truly matter.
At first, seeing those dwindling numbers felt like an alarming case of FOMO. But slowly, I found relief! No more pretending to be cool or overly sociable. Now, whoever is in my life knows the real me — sometimes pleasing, sometimes moody… just like any regular girl navigating her way.
One aspect that my mind accepted, but my heart still struggles with, is the changing frequency of childhood friendships. I know it’s selfish to dwell on the pain of not being in touch, especially when life demands so much from all of us—careers, responsibilities, personal growth. Yet, this piece of writing gives me the freedom to express a truth I often hide:
I miss it !
I crave those conversations without words, those tea sessions that healed everything. Yes—craving means an excessive longing. And I openly admit, I crave that consistent bond we once had. The bond is still there, but the meaning of it has changed. Accepting that change, and living with it, is the only way to move forward.
At this stage of life, when close friends are either choosing partners or getting married, your role in their life starts fading. After all, every romantic relationship needs friendship too. So that friendship once reserved for you has now found a new home. And as much as it hurts, it’s also understandable. Because mere friendship doesn’t always guarantee a ‘happily ever after.’
I remember those days when a single word from that person could reverse the worst of my moods. When everyday hangouts became once-a-month meetups… then just birthdays… Now it’s weddings. And in between, the career race eats up even those fleeting moments. Conversations shift from daily calls to occasional texts… then rare calls… Eventually, silence. Two people who once shared lunchboxes now live in completely different worlds.
I think there should be a manual for adult friendship. Well, I need one for myself at least. Honestly, how are we supposed to maintain deep, soulful connections while juggling meetings, selecting groceries, handling heartbreaks, and existential dread?
Adult friendship is no less than a full-time emotional gym!
You have to lift egos, stretch conversations, and occasionally do cardio in the form of checking in at random intervals so they don’t forget you exist.
Sometimes I wonder! Should I text first? Should I wait for them? Send some interesting memory/meme? Or maybe just react to their story with a fire emoji and call it love?
Maintaining friendship as an adult is like trying to water a plant you forgot you had—but still care about the most, that first family after the blood. You just… forgot where you kept the pot.
In the end,
I’ve come to realise and accept that friendships aren’t meant to stay constant throughout. They evolve, just like we do and it is necessary.
I’ve come to realise and accept that friendships aren’t meant to stay constant throughout. They evolve, just like we do and it is necessary.
The intensity may shift, but the love, that strange, invisible bond, often remains. Sometimes in words, sometimes in memories, and sometimes in the quiet comfort that someone, somewhere, still remembers how you liked your chai.
💌 Your Turn
When was the last time you texted your unsaid buddy?
Share your story or memory in the comments below ðŸ’
